I saw a couple posts on Dvorak wherein the candidates were compared to trains and cars. This gave me an idea, what if we compared them with phones?

Update: For those of you who actually read the text - There are accusations in the comments that I "stole" this from Fark, I did not. The text clearly states where I got the idea from which is dvorak.org, a site I read daily. I never go to and never have been to the Fark forum, except to check the link in the comments. Those who know me, know this accusation is bull-crap and as stated if any accusers (loving their internet anonymity) want to bring it to me in person - I'm game.

A micro blackhole has caused a fault to form in the wall of the LHC, causing a ton of liquid Helium to spill into the tunnel. The loss of the coolant has forced a shutdown due to the over-heating of the supercooling magnets.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/TECH/science/09/20/hadron.collider.damage.ap/index.html

This is an experimental post, some of what you read in this post is fiction. Beat you to the punch Onion!